Relationships. They affect every area of life. If you’re like me, sometimes you think it would be easier to not depend on anyone else. But then, in a rare moment of sanity, you realize there’s no way we can make it through life alone.
Relationships can be so frustrating. We trust. We hurt. Our bruises cause us to be more reserved next time. But this is not how God intended us to live. He wants our relationships to bring joy.
So what’s the secret? How do we maintain fulfilling relationships?
The answer isn’t what you might think, but Jesus gave it to us personally. “The greatest among you must be a servant“. (Matthew 23:11) The Bible teaches that sincerely serving each other is the secret to great relationships.
Jesus came to earth to serve, so our purpose in life should be the same. In Matthew 20:25-28, Jesus said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
The word “serve” is an old Shemitic term which means “to bind”. We are bound to “servanthood” because we’re children of God. So who should we serve? God. Spouses. Children. Parents. Employers. Employees. Friends. Enemies.
Enemies? Did God really say that? Luke 6:35 says, “Love your enemies! Do good to them…your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.”
You see, sometimes God tells us to serve when human wisdom tells us to run.
There’s a great story in the Old Testament about a man named Jacob. He was in love with Laban’s daughter, Rachel, and agreed to work for seven years to gain her hand in marriage. Ladies, how would you feel if your husband or boyfriend was willing to work seven years just to have a relationship with you?
The Bible says those seven years seemed like only a few days to Jacob. How did the time go by so fast? Jacob was gladly serving from his heart. It seems time passes quickly when our “heart is in it”.
However, after seven “short” years, Laban cheated. Citing family tradition, he gave Leah, the older sister, to Jacob instead of Rachel. After Jacob’s initial rage subsided, Laban brokered a deal to get another seven years out of Jacob for Rachel.
Laban was a liar. Pure and simple. How would we respond today? File a lawsuit? Demand our rights? Make sure everyone knows we were wronged?
While our solution is to demand our rights, God’s solution is to surrender our rights. Just like He did on the cross, we must constantly be willing to serve. Jesus said it this way. “Do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too…Give to those who ask, and don't turn away from those who want to borrow.” (Matthew 5:39-42)
Jacob’s response to Laban? He accepted the terms. Relationships mattered that much to him.
Now don’t be fooled. Having a servant’s heart isn’t always easy. It often involves sacrifice–it inconveniences us and costs us something. It usually demands selflessness–compelling us to “rearrange” our priorities. And it always requires submission–truly humbling ourselves to appropriately honor others.
Jacob was willing to put fourteen years of his life on hold because he understood the principle of serving others.
But our flesh (mind) will say, “It’s too hard!” We must remember that one day we’ll stand before God, and the words we want to hear are recorded in Matthew 25:23. “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.”
For our faithful service to others, one day we’ll reap a reward of eternal joy. So keep serving. It’s the only way to true success!